Jotting down with Rishi!

Just like any other day, I went for a walk. It was sunset time. People were walking their dogs, kids were playing in the park. The wind was cold, but I was fully prepared with my gear.

I walked to my usual spot. My bench. The perfect place, the lake right in front, the sun going down behind the trees.

Surprisingly, the lakeshore was empty. The bench, the view, the evening light, it was all mine. I sat down. The dark orange sunlight hit my face, my hair flew with the wind.

Then, a sweet fragrance. A really, really sweet one.

She walked past me.

She was wearing a grey hoodie, a relaxed fit. Her hair tied up in a simple bun. She smiled. A small, soft smile. I noticed a tattoo on her wrist, three doves flying. On her ankle, a dog’s paw print. Her dog? I wondered.

She sat next to me.

We didn’t talk. Just silence. The sound of water. The wind. Insects chirping.

I don’t know if she felt it, but I did. That tension.

Five minutes passed. At least for her. For me, it felt like forever.

Stupid me. I was wearing AirPods. She must have thought, Why disturb him?

I wished she had sat somewhere else. Why? Because then I could have looked at her. Now that she was right next to me, my neck was hurting from stopping myself.

She was on her phone, sitting with one leg over the other. I kept thinking:

“Are those your dog’s footprints?” Sounds dumb.

“How’s your day?” Too casual.

“You’re pretty.” That’s creepy, right?

What should I say?

I. Don’t. Know.

I waited for the right moment. I thought of the right question or a good pick-up line. 

Why is she so beautiful? The question pulled all my strings inside, head to toe. 

How do I start? We are sharing a beautiful moment together, at least for me. 

Will this be the start of something great? Will this be the start of the greatest love story humankind has ever known? 

Finally, eye contact. She might’ve noticed my gaze. 

She must have noticed me looking at her tattoo on her ankle. 

What if she thinks I’m a creepy guy?

Blood rush, heavy breathing in me. 

What will she say? 

I waited for a moment. 

Smile!

She smiled at me.

If my alter ego jumped out of me, he would’ve screamed in happiness. 

I smiled. I’m very sure it was an awkward smile. Her eyes fell on my lips, I could see it clearly. The first thought I got was, Do I have anything on my teeth? What did I eat for lunch? Damn, I ate lettuce. Did she notice anything bad in my teeth?

She said, “Beautiful weather, isn’t it?”

Yes! She didn’t see anything. And she said the first line of our love story.

“Beautiful weather, isn’t it?”

Stupid me. Why didn’t I just say that first?

Just lost in her voice, I said just like how beautiful you are, in my head.

I said, “Yes, I agree.”

Say something else, stupid.

No, I couldn’t.

She said, “I come here every day. Guess why?”

Oh, she’s initiating a conversation. No ego, wow. Another good quality.

And she’s asking me to guess, which is a cute thing to ask a random stranger.

I said, “Because you bring your dog for a walk?”

Idiot! Why did you say that? Do you see a dog around?

There is no dog in the picture. What if her dog is dead and I made her sad by reminding her?

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

To my surprise, her face had the brightest smile.

Thank God, I thought.

“How did you guess it so right?!” she said, eyes wide open, biggest smile till then.

I smiled. Is it my real reaction? Hell naa!

I would’ve jumped and said, “Yess!”

I simply said, “I saw the tattoo on your ankle and guessed it. Cute tattoo, though.”

She said, “Wow! That’s amazing. Thanks.”

And then after a few seconds, she said, “Wait a minute! Were you checking me out?”

She caught me off guard.

What do I do?

Immediately I said,

“Are you serious? If a man sees you, his immediate thought would be, ‘Wow, her boyfriend or husband is so lucky to have such a beautiful woman in his life.’ So yes, I don’t shy away from saying I was admiring you. ‘Checking you out’ is a bad term in my opinion.”

To which she blushed.

“Right!! Good way to ask if I have a boyfriend or not? And yes, I have a boyfriend.”

My heart broke.

But I had to not show I was broken. There is still scope.

What if she breaks up with her boyfriend for me?

That’s a possibility.

I put my hand on my chest and gestured heartbreak.

She laughed—not smiled—she laughed loudly.

“Cute!” she said.

Did she say cute? To me?

Wow!

“By the way, I’m Maya,” and she gave her hand.

I gave my hand, shook it, and said, “I’m Rishi.”

Immediately I added, “No no, I’m a heartbroken Rishi.”

“Oh really? Who broke your heart?”

I nodded.

“I was fine until a moment ago. There’s this beautiful woman who said she has a boyfriend, so yes, that broke my heart.”

She blushed again and said,

“Oh, is it? Where is she? I don’t see her. I want to see her. Show?”

“I have a picture of her. Wait, I’ll show.”

And I was about to do the most EXPECTED thing.

I put the phone towards her, turned on the front camera, and showed it to her.

She saw herself and said, “Oh yes! I agree. She is beautiful indeed.” Smiled, and said, “I guess she needs to open her hair.”

And she took the hair clip off and opened her bun—and just wow.

Time started moving slow. It was just like in the movies. Her hair danced in slow motion.

Left, right, left, right, and one stroke through her hair to make it sit perfectly.

Stupid me said, “Wow” out loud.

She said, “Look now?”

And I again. Just in AWE!!!

I saw my screen again, but this time, to my surprise, she clicked a picture.

Wow! Did she just?

Did she just leave an image of herself in my phone?

Will she ask me to delete it?

Was it intentional or muscle memory?

I saw her in the screen. But then I said,

“Okay, enough of watching her on such a small screen. I’ll see her directly,” and just looked into her eyes.

Beautiful eyes indeed.

Blushing, she covered her face with both hands.

“So cute!” I said.

Shying away, she said a long “YeahHHHHHHHHHHH.”

And “Stop now!”

And I didn’t say anything for a minute.

I didn’t know what else to ask. I didn’t know what to do. We had already shared a beautiful moment. I saw an angel. She spoke to me. And I can treasure this moment forever.

I know I will never be with her, but this was beautiful. She is beautiful.

Even she could see it on my face—how much I was admiring her right then.

But I guess it was time to face the truth. I will never be with her. She is with another man.

And after a minute, a dog came running to her, jumped onto her. She cuddled her dog, called,

“Blake, my Blake, my cutie Blake.”

Dog… and then the man. Her man. Topless, in shorts, blonde hair, smiling at her.

Wow. I am jealous of this man in all ways possible. Not just because he has this beautiful woman as his girlfriend, but also for his cutout. She deserves to be with this man, I guess. If I were a girl, there is no doubt I would’ve had a huge crush on him.

He came, kissed her on the cheek.

Before I could realize that this might be the last time I’d see her, she got up and left.

Without turning her head to me.

Nothing. Not even a smile or a bye.

She held her boyfriend’s arm, and her boyfriend was holding the dog’s leash.

And she left.

I deserve a goodbye, don’t I?

I took out my phone and played

‘Abhi Na Jao Chhod Kar’

It just felt like the right song for the moment.

And I watched her leave and slowly vanish completely.

As the sun set completely, I was lost in thoughts:

Will I go back to the same bench again, daily?

Will I try to see if she comes back to the same place?

Will she come back? Will she?

Will she think about me?

Will she think I was cringe? Or creepy?

Will she share this with her boyfriend?

Will she also treasure this moment like I do?

I wish I had answers to these questions…

ALRIGHT I WILL HIT THE GYM NOW!!!